Each day brings a new opportunity to remake our lives. As I explored tumbr posts this morning looking for inspiring and motivational sayings and images, I had a revelation:
In our attempts to make our lives better, we use the word “never” a lot.
I’ll never overeat again. I’ll never miss a gym session. I’ll never let myself get hurt, never procrastinate, never fall in love/stop loving, never let a friend down. Never never never.
It occurs to me that this is just another form of perfectionism, and sets us up for failure and disappointment.
If we’re kind to ourselves, I think we must acknowledge that we will fail at times, but the goals are worth pursuing. When we start a new diet and exercise program, we know that we’ll fail sometimes - eat something we “shouldn’t,” miss an exercise session. The question we have to ask ourselves it: how will we get back on track? It’s the same when starting a new project: yes, there will be times when we don’t meet our daily goals, when we procrastinate, when we get frustrated, when we screw up. How will we go on?
Never and always are dangerous words. Stuff happens. We’re not always strong. Life events intervene. The question is - how will we cope? How will we stay focused on the goal, rather than giving up when times get hard?
That’s what I’m pondering today.