Gradness Madness

The first pages of a new chapter are always the toughest.  I keep reminding myself of that.

The view from here: I can attest that it’s true what they say - the first year as a new faculty member is the hardest.  Maybe it’s just the first semester, but I’m thinking it’s the first year.  I’ll probably have to go through an entire academic cycle here before I start to feel comfortable.

The fish-out-of-water feeling permeates every aspect of my life.  I’m not used to my apartment, my neighborhood, my city.  I still have to use the campus map to find some buildings and parking lots, and the GPS to get around town.  I’m bombarded with emails and obligations, on top of having several new preps, and I feel like I’m drowning nearly every day.

I’m happy, but in a manic way.

Right now, I long for a sense of calm, but I suspect it’s going to be awhile.  I’m trying to be okay with that.  I’ve been around long enough, and been through enough life changes, to know that this is the hardest part - the first year of grad school, the first year of a new job, the first few months after a move, or a breakup, or any other life change.

I can let it throw me for a loop, or I can just accept that I’m in for some rough times, but they won’t last forever.  So I’ll cling to what I know.  It’ll get easier, with time.  I just have to be patient, and keep getting through each day.  It’s a pretty good life, if a manic one.

- Flynn